Ok, one last picture from Texas but it's my fav! Even though I don't think Tegan wanted her picture taken!

I finally got to church today and it was soooo good to be back. I hate having to work Sundays!  My schedule is such that I have to work every other weekend and of the weekends I work I alternate opening and closing (if that makes sense...). In other words, technically I should be able to go to church two Sundays in a row and then have to work a Sunday morning. But what ends up happening on my closing weekend is that since Saturday nights are soooo crazy at our store I don't get out of there until nearly midnight and by the time I get a shower and talk to Todd for a few minutes it is usually closer to 1am when I finally get to sleep! Then getting up in time to bathe and dress all the little guys and get out the door by 10am just isn't happening! Also, I have been having so much trouble with my feet so when I work late nights my feet hurt so badly in the morning that I just about fall over when I first put my feet on the floor in the morning! Getting more than 8 hours of sleep at night really helps but I am just worried that I am going to have to see a pediatrist before too much longer. I think these pregnancies have just destroyed my feet! Todd says I have flat feet but I never did before I had babies so I think something must have happened to them over the years. Since one foot is in much worse shape than the other right now Todd thinks that I am working on a stress fracture.  Great!! That's the last thing I need!!.... to not be able to work while I baby some foot injury!! Yikes! Just pray... if you think of it. Todd and I really hate my having to work but we have to make sacrifices to follow God's leading and this is the way He seems to be providing for our family right now.

On a lighter note,  Todd and the "big" kids are at the farm right now working on some projects and enjoying the sunshine. I think Todd's family is starting to worry about our marriage *giggles* since every time I have a day off he heads to the country. Too funny!! Nothing could be farther from the truth!  He just has so many projects pending that he is trying to get as much done as possible before his Summer break is over. I really wish I could be there with him but Tegan is still needing several naps and too, lugging baby food around and a pack-n-play is just so inconvenient when you just want to run down for the day and get a few things done! I also really need my days off to catch up on laundry, phone calls, housework, and baby kisses!!  When I run out of town every time I get free the mess just gets completely out of control! For the time being we just have to run in several directions allot. But we manage to find creative ways to stay connected. *sigh* I sure do love that man! Ahh, well... As they say: This too shall pass.

~TTFN

 I uploaded too large of pictures last month and learned my lesson... Never load BIG pictures unless you just like only posting one or two pictures a month!! Yikes.... that was torture!! But alas.... I now am back to posting pictures. I'm sure everyone is releaved not to have to read so much of my mental ramblings now!!

This is Mom and all us kids on Mother's Day. It's been a while since we were all together on Mother's day. It really was special!

This is one of my Dad and my brother Josh. Haven't had a picture of just the two of them together in a long time. And they really look happy, don't they?! I love this picture!

Me and Teggy. She is such a dolly!!

Thanks for the pix Aimee!!

Well if I come across a little bit distant
It's just because I am
Things just seem to feel a little bit different
You understand
Believe it or not but life is not apparently
About me anyways
But I have met the One who really is worthy
So let me say

So long, self
Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long, self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long, self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long, self

Stop right there because I know what you're thinking
But no we can't be friends
And even though I know your heart is breaking
This has to end
And come to think of it the blame for all of this
Simply falls on me
For wanting something more in life than all of this
Can't you see

So long, self
Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long, self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long, self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long, self

Don't feel so bad (don't feel so bad)
There'll be better days (there'll be better days)
Don't go away mad (but by all means)
Just go away, go away

So long, self
Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long, self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long, self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long, self

So long, Farewell, goodbye!

Life just refuses to let up for us even a second!! It just seems like everything I am trying to accomplish is falling apart so that I feel like a juggler who is throwing his hands over his head and all the balls are raining down on him! ARRRRGGGHH!!! I am LOOSING IT!!!!!!  Oh, and I have been trying so hard to implement everything I have been learning in For Woman Only and I am totally failing at it!! Everything else can go by the wayside but the one thing that I really want to accomplish; the one thing that really matters to me yet it is the area that I am not only messing up, I am totally blowing it!!!!!  Ok, with that off my chest I am going to hit the hay.... But to continue with my melodramatic theme here I am going to close with a quote by Anne Shirley,

"Tomorrow is always fresh..... with no mistakes in it."

Ah, how that thought warms my heart.....

This little book, given to me by a dear lady in my parent's fellowship in Texas, is radically messing with my head!!  I feel like such a stupid idiot! And I have been married for nearly 9 years!! You would think by now that I would know what pushes my husband's buttons and what just plain hurts his feelings and would have figured out how to not but I have been pushing his buttons and hurting his feelings pretty much just solid for over 8 years and I feel like such a heel!! The thing that boggles my mind is that he still loves me and still kinda likes me?!!? What is up with that??  It's gotta be a "God thing" because any "normal" person would have had enough by now and even if he was committed would have long ago lost all feelings for a woman who was so determined, it seems, to make his life miserable! When I think how many times he has tried to explain to me why he is angry (guy code for "you are hurting my feelings") and I just brushed him off defending myself and explaining and reexplaining why it isn't legitiamate for him to get angry (i.e.: feel hurt) only to recycle his pain and increase his anger I just want to curl up and die!! What a dote I am..... I love my guy like nothing else on earth so I just feel so aweful that even in the past few days as I have been struggling to respond rightly I still have had to ask his forgiveness like a ton of times for so totally saying the wrong thing and hurting him. He is so patient and usually just shuggs like it isn't a big deal but the goofy happy, just slightly cocky Todd that I fell so in love with isn't here anymore and I want him back! I don't even remember quite when that "Todd" quit showing up.  I want that confidence and strength to return and I just have this sneaking feeling that I hold the keys...... Anyway, this is my new project... Should keep me busy for umm... oh... about the rest of my life!!

~TTFN

Tegan and Mommy at the Wheeler's Home on Mother's Day.

The Birthday Sisters: I turned 28 and Grace turned 15.

Two Sisters and our dear Sister-in-law, Noelle.

Grace and Tegan (I love this picture!)

Yeah, I'm just a bit going crazy at present... I have a bunch more pictures from Texas that I really wanted to post but I am doing good to even get a quick up date on here. So bare with me.... I may be able to get them posted soon.

My new job is totally amazing and completely consuming my thoughts... and hours. I am low on sleep, behind on phone calls and really missing my friends and neighbors.  But God has placed some interesting people in my life through work that are moving me out of comfort zones and forcing me to take my faith to a new level; nudging me to reach out.  I am so glad of that opportunity! I think as a house wife I have tended to see the world one dimensionally and not really interact with people that are so lost and searching for anything that is real and authentic. These people seem to look at me as if they have never seen someone who actually has fun without getting drunk; who isn't constantly looking for the next lay (ick!) and living completely without purpose. Life for most of them is about pleasure not sacrifice; a persistent chasing after the wind. But I am so glad of the opportunity to meet them and hopefully touch their lives for Christ. Anyway, I am also learning a ton about electronics and being a leader in the retail business. I feel like I am on information overload but it will come, I'm sure. Target is a fascinating place to work and I am enjoying the chance to grow and learn new things.

I really miss being able to get my house in order and take care of the kids all the time but it is only for a season so I keep reminding myself that "This too shall pass."  Todd is going stir-crazy cooped up in the house playing "mommy" but he starts back to school a week from Monday so his cooking and cleaning days are numbered...

And the Lord has provided the most sweet and kind college student to watch the kids for the summer since my schedule is mostly days now. We are just thrilled to have found her and she seems like she will be a wonderful help and allow Todd and I to be able to be home at the same time finally. God is sooooo good!!

Anyway, I guess that covers the news around here. I wish I had myself organized so I could keep up with everyone the way I like to but please understand and hopefully in a few weeks when we are more adjusted I can be better about touching base.

TTFN!

Two insanely busy weeks and I feel like the look of the whole world has changed. As I have been "in the trenches" with my parents, so to speak, and helping them to get things a little more organized and thought through with the business I have been so blessed these weeks! My amazing parents are struggling to keep their young pest control business growing and thriving and to keep their home life up and running too. Having 2 teenagers doesn't simplify things any either. But it has been years since I was so intimately involved in their everyday lives that it has been such a special time of just transitioning from little girl to adult daughter. Not to say I haven't been an adult in their eyes before now but this is the first opportunity for the relationship to really blossom in that capacity. I have been able to lend help and be a spring board for ideas and new thoughts. My parents are such wise and humble people and I feel so privileged to be allowed close and see the humanity in reality with their lives at present. Their strength is incredible and I have learned so much about why I am the way I am and where some of my own strengths have come from that just watching them has been a joy. 

Shifting directions... I was offered the job of Department Head for Electronics at my Target store in Kansas City last week. Araaahhhh!!! I am sooooo excited I could just bust! I accepted and start pretty much just as soon as I get home from Texas. Todd was really relieved. We need the raise. God is good!!

So tomorrow Todd flies in from KC to spend a nice long weekend with us and I can't wait!!!!! Then we will all drive back together probably Tuesday morning. I just talked to him as he was walking out from his great big cumulative final and he was feeling so relieved to have it over! Just one last test (this one has hardly any points riding on it so not so stressful) and the first year of medical school will be all behind us. Ohmyword, I will just be so glad to be able to say we are "second year's"!! It won't feel so much like we are barely started....

Here are some random pictures from the past few days.....

My gorgeous mother enjoying the grandbabies and the Texas sun!

Pool fun!

Trina reading Tegan a story.

Kelly Welch and me at her baby shower. Little Bridger Hardin is 2 and 1/2 weeks! Kelly looks fantastic... as usual.

• Playful and energetic, the ENFP mother finds her children to be good company and enjoys being with them. In fact, she says being with children justifies her own “being a kid again.” And children say she’s fun to be with — spontaneous, hearty, and imaginative.
  
• Naturally drawn to introducing her children to the joys of life, the ENFP is something of a free spirit. She is less concerned with rules, routines, and schedules, and more inclined to give her children plenty of free time to play, explore on their own or with her, and have fun together.
  
• Tuned in to her children, the ENFP mother enthusiastically encourages each one’s individuality and unique potential through a great variety of experiences. She is also quick to identify with others’ feelings and thoughts, making her an empathetic supporter of her children, not to mention her mate and many, many friends.
  

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