The wedding this weekend was so amazing!! Here's a sneak peek at some of the pictures...

I am writing this on a borrowed computer because this once very computer rich house is now with out any at all!! Only a few months ago we had 3 laptops around our house and one desktop computer but now we are down to none!! I am frantically trying to figure out how I am going to edit photos that I will take from the wedding tomorrow with no computer of my own! Of course this comes on the heels of us having zero extra cash just lying around for such emergencies.... Oh, well.... Hopefully something will work out.

So yes! Tomorrow is Tory and Vallorie's wedding/elopement and I am super excited! I am going to do the brides hair for the wedding, sing in the wedding, as well as be the photographer for the wedding! I am a dextrous girl, as you can see... LOL! But it should be a lovely little ceremony (even with my singing in the mix...) and I am sooo happy for them!

But first I have to go to court for my traffic ticket or another warrent for my arrest will be issued. Oh, yes! I am a criminal now. You didn't know that?? Yes, I failed to pay for my ticket on time or appear in court the first time (long story... don't ask...)and had to go turn myself in, post bail, and get my finger prints and even (gulp) mug shot taken!!!!! It was a mortifying experience.... So yeah, if I don't show up in court tomorrow AM then I get to do all that over again! Joy! All that just before I head over to the church... This sounds like some stupidly funny sitcom!

Oh, yes and did I mention I am still looking for a job?? *gulp down a sob* Oh, yeah! it just keeps getting better....

And..... *drrrruuumm roll please* I have two potty trained girls!! Oh, yeah!!! oh, yeah! Do you have any idea how mind numbingly frustrating it is to potty train a 4 and a half year old with AD/HD?? yeah.... I nearly went insane!!! But potty training her little 2 year old sister was a breeze and we are a diaperless household!! Boom Baby!! I am one happy mamma!! After almost 10 years of perpetual diapers we have nary a one in the house! No Pull-Up's either! It's awesome, let me tell ya!

So I'm hanging in there... even with out my link to the outside world: aka, my computer. I'll be around when I beg, borrow, or steal one over the next few days and weeks...

Until then... Ta ta for now

Saturday, I got to do a siblings type photo shoot with some really cool peeps from my church. These guys were so willing to do anything (even "breaking" into an amazing abandoned loading dock that we found. Hey, it was unlocked!) and ham it up for the camera. We just had a really great time...

Here are the highlights: First, I took a bunch of fun stuff outside...

 

Zach and Lorraine were soooo cute together. Lorraine left to go back to Washington state Sunday. Maintaining a long distance relationship, these pictures mean so much to them, they said. Aww!

Finishing up we the outside... then we snuck inside...

It was dark in there but I adjusted my settings and used some reflectors and ...

... we started getting some amazing looks!

The promise ring:

And Sista's! LOVE!

Then we went for some Senior type shots of Ty:

That place was FAB!! And they were such troopers. Thanks guys for an amazing shoot!! We must do it again!!

(See more from this shoot HERE.)

*on a side note: what is it with me and those ... thingy's?? My best friend knows what it's called when you put three little periods in a row like that and she proudly informed me of this information only a few months ago and, of course, I promptly forgot.  But I seem to end every sentence either with a *insert name for dot, dot, dot thingy's* or exclamation points!! And usually multiples of those as well!! Ahhh! I just keep doing it... STOP it, Jess. There. I'm getting better, see? Hey! Another new punctuation I can over use!? Oh, brother. This is getting pathetic.*

Back to the whole point of my post to begin with. I don't usually indulge in rant posts but today I'm making a little exception: I'm totally worn out with being a med student's wife!! And I know that sounds horrible... I do so love my husband and am sooo proud of what he is accomplishing but these past few months I have grown weary of sharing him! And since medical school is not designed for men with a family of 6 to support, financially it just gets harder and harder. For those of you not familiar with the cost of graduate school education, it is not something you can do without debt. We hate debt just as much as anybody else and managed to pay for the undergrad part and only took out one small student loan during his last year. Med school is a whole nuther story. There isn't anyway to work to pay your way though. Tuition alone for Todd is over $38000 a year!! (now that warrants some of those exclamation points that I love so much!! lol!) Fortunately for us we have a full 4 year scholarship for the tuition part. But the medical school put together a budget that they think a single student living in cheep student housing should be able to live off of. And they set the amount of the Federal student loans for *all* their students by that budget. Even though the Federal government has set aside quite a bit more than that as the max that students can borrow through that system it is dispersed at the schools discretion though their financial aid department and they decide what a student "needs". This particular school states clearly in their financial aid documents that they will NOT increase students financial aid based on family size. The student's spouse is expected to work to support his or her self and any dependants. We can debate all day long over whether or not this is fair but the fact is, it puts us in a very difficult place. We live extremely frugally. I won't even go into how tight we have made things around our house but suffice it to say: there are no more ways we can pull in our belts. I tried taking classes and getting my own student loans to keep us afloat but the stress and drain on time with family was killing me and leaving my house in shambles only for it to not be enough anyway! I tried working retail but again the drain on my time and the family was more than any of us could take. Todd picks up a few teaching jobs for the ambulance company a few nights a month but they can't offer him enough to keep us afloat. Plus it's killing his study time and hurting him on his rotations (not to mention leaving him totally exhausted going to class each day after working evenings teaching...). Todd and I have done clinical trials of drugs and immunizations and sleep studies and such but they are not that readily available so they don't provide anything stable. (Yikes! This is starting to sound like that movie Fun with Dick and Jane! Except we haven't resorted to robbing banks... yet)

We have thought about selling our house but the only way in this market that it would do us any good would be if we pitched a tent from now until the Summer of '09! I liked that idea but Todd pointed out that it would be a little difficult ironing his shirts by a creek...  Oh, well. The kids would have liked it!

So I am facing another return to the work force. I've been bursting into tears everytime Todd mentions it and begging for more time to get my house in order before I have to. I worked so hard to get Tegan and my stuborn little 4 and 1/2 year old, Tyler potty trained so if I have to leave them with a baby sitter they will be less trouble.  But it breaks my heart to leave them! It was hard enough putting the big kids in school but now going to work feels like the last straw... I know I need to just not internalize it so much and just go. Lots of moms work and actually love it! But I never have. It just feels like one more person demanding my time and attention.

So yeah, this turned out to be a major rant... I'm sorry, my good ol' peeps! I needed to get it out! No pitty, please! I don't want everyone to feel bad for me I just wanted to hollar today, "LIFE STINKS!!!!" 'cause sometimes it just does.... *I just love those little dot, dot, dot thingy's. *sigh* I don't think I can part with them...*

I briefly introduced you to Vallorie back when I did a portrait shoot for her in December. Well, what I didn't tell you was that she was dating my brother-in-law, Tory, at the time. I've been soooooo hoping there was an engagement in the works and sure enough, on February 25th, he popped the question! They came by after to share the good news and I, of course, wipped out my camera and grabbed a few shots. Nothing fancy, but they capture the moment:

The pretty ring!!

Congratulations, you guys!! Sooo happy God brought you two together!

(more engagement shots to come...)

He IS RISEN!!