September 12, 2007

• To MY MAN...

  Some things are not easy to put into words. Some people are hard to define or reduce to a bunch of descriptors. Sometimes you find someone who at once seems solid, steady, and down-to-earth while at the same time so deeply complex and perplexingly unsearchable. Todd: my lover, my companion, my mate, and my dearest friend is another year older today and as I sit here to write this I find myself halting as I search my heart.

  

  Todd and I have a different relationship from a lot of our friends. We are complete opposites:

  • He's a morning person; I'm a night owl.
  • He likes country life; I'm the city girl who loves fine dining and good shopping.
  • He wants his clothes to be basic and not trendy; I must have the latest styles and trends.
  • He never wants to buy new clothes; I can't stand wearing the same thing year after year.
  • He likes healthy foods; I want my food to taste yummy, not like cardboard!
  • He wants me to serve him to SHOW him love; I want him to constantly TELL me he loves me and I'm wonderful.
  • He needs things orderly and well planned; I want to fly by the seat of my pants on everything.
  • He likes quiet music that is soothing; I love my music loud and fun.
  • He prefers to stay home and socialize little; I love a good party and could go out with friends every night.
  • He's logical and private with his feelings; I'm irrational and emotional and everybody knows how I feel.
  • He's strong and impassive; I'm willful but malleable.
  • He loves roughing it; I like my creature comforts.
  • He's methodical; I'm creative and never do anything the same way twice.
  • He is fiercely loyal but to only a select few; I have lots of acquaintances and friends on all kinds of levels.

  In that strange way that we commonly call 'the principle that opposites attract' I am, at once, in love with and baffled by our differences. I catch myself scratching my head when I can't seem to get inside his head and understand what seems so completely wrong. Sometimes he says to me, "You are assuming that because you don't know what reasoning I used to arrive at what I do or believe that it is wrong. That's not necessarily true. Why don't you just ask me what I'm really thinking and what I believe about that? You might be surprised that I'm really pretty with it." Of course then we have a good laugh about my ignorance but some days I just feel shut out. Does he mean to shut me out? No.  He wants to share with me what he shares with no one else but he doesn't know sometimes that I'm in the dark. I love that deepness! That mystery. It keeps me fascinated and compelled to draw near. To stop and ponder. I love that he's mine. And that he wouldn't have it any other way.

  I know I brag a lot about his medical school accomplishments but I am just so proud! But the odd thing is that most people ask more about me and how I'm doing and tend to gloss over his efforts. They don't see what he's carrying. They think he's just going to school and don't have any idea how many other worries he juggles day in and day out. He's not your typical guy in that he just is all work when he's at work and doesn't think about or worry about the home. No, in fact he is the complete opposite. He struggles all day to let the issues at home fade back and focus on his education. He calls to check on me and give direction or help me refocus often throughout a typical day. It's a burden that most men don't feel the need to take on but Todd's focus is family and so what we are doing during the day is of great interest to him and he wants to be apart of it. People think I am handling the home stuff alone while he goes off and pursues his dreams everyday but that's not what it's like. He does all this for us. He wants a job that allows him to provide well for his family but gives him maximum time off to be with his family and play a major roll in their lives. With his giftings he knew this was the only way to go. It wasn't a convenient choice it was just what he knew for him would be the best.

  So happy birthday, hubby of mine! You are an inspiration and the love of my life! I can't wait to grow old with you!!

  • 10:32 pm
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